welcome to our funny jokes archive. we have blonde jokes, relationship and marriage related jokes, animal jokes, computer jokes, naughty jokes, sports jokes, funny stories, lawyer jokes, redneck jokes and more... have fun! 
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An elderly gentleman of 85 feared his wife was getting hard of hearing. So one day he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. |
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MORRIS AND HIS WIFE ESTHER WENT TO THE STATE FAIR EVERY YEAR, AND
EVERY YEAR MORRIS WOULD SAY,"ESTHER, I 'D LIKE TO RIDE IN THAT
HELICOPTER".
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the phone rings. the lady of the house answers, "yes?mrs. ward, please.""speaking." "Mrs.
Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your
Doctor sent your husband's samples to the lab, the samples from another
Mr. Ward were sent as well and we are now uncertain which one is your
husband's. Frankly, it is either bad or terrible."
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there are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. they
had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when
one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture,
brings the two to life.
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a guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
cheese sandwich: $1.50
hand job: $10.00 |
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I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! |
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From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes something like this: What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? |
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a cabbie picks up a nun. she gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. she asks him why he is staring. he replies: "i have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you".
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1. thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. (why wait that long?)
2. thou shall not do drugs. (alcohol lasts longer, not to mention that it's cheaper.)
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Friendship Among Women: A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house. |
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